Sedate and Relax

Oh anesthesia. Oh how I love you. You're such an interesting branch. Too scary but I still love you. I fear you!! I really do!! But that won't stop me from loving you.

This was supposed to be rhymed and sung but since I suck at both, well there you go.

Today was the first day in anesthesia. The first day after whole five weeks of stupid motivational pip talk that is called family medicine. I'm not sure how they got the title of medicine. They don't deserve it! Actually, in the first or second lecture we learned that it was called family practice and was changed to medicine later. Narcissistic assholes. Best thing is that the 5 weeks long nightmare is over now. I'm still scared. We we discussing few issues today and the module coordinator said that we sucked so bad and that every girl got a much higher grade than what she deserves and that we're the worst among all previous batches. Oh how I want to slap him! That liar. If there's anyone who deserve the title of queen of nerdness then this batch girls would win it effortlessly!! And there he goes saying we were the worst! Not just bad, but the worst!!! Narcissistic assholes! The whole department is made out of these people! *If I talked about my fantasy fights with them it'll take another long post*

I don't really have to tell you how my exams went. They both sucked. The OSCE and the written. The OSCE exam was made of 6 stations. The last of these stations was the log book validity. Basically the doc reads your log book, asks you questions, see if you're the one who took the case and managed it or whatever or not. They don't know obviously that I have a gold fish memory! I have amnesia and I don't remember anything at all! I didn't remember anything back then too! 

So I started with the diabetic patient counseling, or consultation. You know that the department suck big time when the rotation ends without poor student knowing the real difference between counseling and consultation. Best thing that the simulating patients (interns) were helping us A LOT. She asked me more than me talking to her which was really good. There was no awkward silence that is absolutely hated during these times. But have no fear darlings, all this absence of awkward silence was well-compensated for in the next stations. 

The second room I got into was about breaking bad news to a patient who is newly diagnosed with breast cancer. Dudes and dudettes, you have no idea how many times have we practiced this! Twice with the doctors on two separate occasions and once or twice alone. Yet, I had the worst mental block I could ever get!! No really! It was horrible. I never wanted to be swallowed and buried down like that day! You know after telling the diagnosis the doctor must pause to give the patient time to absorb the information. And as Jameela said; we paused, and paused, and then paused again. And I guess that I took only 90 seconds to deal with the thing. The rest of it was the most horrible awkward silence ever! I was even relieved when the bell rang. I mean screw this! It felt stupid and horrible! 

The third station was patient with backache, perform examination. I did what I know. Then the doc said there's something missing. We exchanged looks until the bell rang. I fucking hate these moments. Couldn't feel more horrible wallahi!

The fourth station was counseling or consultation to a HTN patient. I'm like bored and consumed and I no longer care what I look/sound like. Again there was awkward silence, it's then when the patient/intern started to ask questions (helping of course) and it went on smoothly. 

Then the fifth station. HEADACHE EXAMINATION! Now maybe I'm an idiot, but I'm not really well acquainted with headache examination! So I improvised. It can't get any worst after all, can it? It was messy, not organized, and I did what I thought it was good. And left! 

LAST STATION! log shit validity. It was Dr. Ekram. Oh dear lord how I freaked out! She asked me about the 2 months old vaccines, I answered enthusiastically because obviously this was the only info I was sure of! Then she asked what's the difference between IM polio and oral. I answered in the most casual way *I even shocked myself*  "don't know :\." Then it went on as a discussion more than a real test and she opened the log book, and picked the worst case, badly written one! And asked me about. I gave her the I'm-too-lazy-to-comprehend-what-you're-saying look. Then she asked "How much do you think you got?" 

"Out of kam?" 

"Out of 5 let's say."

"I dunno maybe 2?? :\"

"Okay ma3a alsalama :)... Oh one last question what are the ROM criteria (bell rings) for diagnosing IBS?"

*Sighing heavily*

"أنقزك الجرس!!!!" = "saved by the bell" 

And I gave her a weak yellow fake smile and dragged myself to the post exam room. 

And I cried. Honestly, it had nothing to do with grades as much as it had to do with the MAJOR EMBARRASSMENT!! But meeeeeeeeeeeh. It's all over now. Pray we pass! I'm that humble in my wishes :p o:).

As for anesthesia, though the title was meant to be for an anesthesia post, let's postpone that, shall we? Oh anesthesia is way too awesome to be talked about here with the family medicine post!!! It should be sung in a well composed song by Adele. Oh yes this is how much I love anesthesia. Even though I'll never ever be an anesthesiologist. Ever! EVER! But I love it. Very much <3

Have a good night sleep and salam :D.