Finally Done with Paeds

You know when we first signed up for med school, and they told us there's a new system, new schedules, new everything, I was excited even though I had no idea how the previous system worked. God I was such a nerd. So anyhow 2 years ago paeds, medicine, surgery and ob/gyne were all taken together, or so I've heard. Our system is blocks system. You study something for a period of time, and you never come across it again until internship. I liked it at the beginning, but later tiny rotations showed up and precious time was wasted. There was no separate rotations for ophthalmo, ENT, anesthesia and other stuff. Family medicine was a major waste of time, ethics also. The new system gives tiny short courses time that should've been given to major ones. Pediatrics is given 12 weeks. Although Dr. Azhar promised us that 12 weeks is more than enough, we got everything mixed up by the 3rd week. Between the so many references, the grumpy nurses, the assholes that are called residents, we ended up with no plan to finish the huge amount of study, nor the mood to do so.

weeks passed by, the mid year vacation came, it was the most annoying break ever. I studied 3 short chapters from the illustrated textbook of pediatrics, I slept, I woke up, I ate, and I felt guilty the entire time! I wanted to study from Nelson's essentials. Everyone recommended it, we had no time! Actually we did, it's the mood we lacked. But then the more you remember how much left for the final you lose interest and instead you freak out! 

mid rotation exam was one week after the mid year break, and most of us fucked up the exam. You see, again even though Dr. Azhar said clearly that by 'exam' they meant that they're examining 'our knowledge', we didn't think it's gonna be this bad! I mean if that exam was to measure 'our knowledge' then what where we doing the entire time? Saying hi to patients? Thank God we're not docs yet, 'cause obviously we'd be killing them. 

Never mind. Mid exam was over, at the time we had the ward rotation in KFAFH. Which was a disaster by the way. You know they told us that we'll have 4 weeks for the ward rotation. Which is little already, anyhow theoretically speaking it was 4 weeks, practically we had only one! The first week only was when we learned something. The second week there was a conference and the docs were busy! By the third week, we had our long case exams which was a disaster too! The fourth week we had to go back to uni because our final was set at the time! 

So you see, practically we had 1 week only, by one week I mean 4 days because the first day was lost in introductions and orientation and shit. Yes I know, I had this WTF look on face during the entire rotation. Anyhow, the long case was horrible, I was never stressed, I hate confrontations I hate being asked when no one else is around I hate all that! But what do we do!? I had to and I was examined by the one doc that I hated the most! He kept chewing gum the entire time! And he kept asking very basic questions that I had to retrieve the answer from the dusty attic in my mind and eventually I muttered the stupidest answers ever! 

Moving to the final written exam, wasn't as bad as the mid but I was surprised to find out that I got simple questions wrong. Brain TB I tell you! Brain TB! The OSCE was the most annoying thing ever. First let me talk a bit about our transportation system in Saudi. You see, a girl has either a driver, a bus, or a family member. I have a bus that picks me up everyday but the prob is that the company keeps changing drivers until you get a headache! So this new driver doesn't know everyone's house and hence he picks up only those he knows their addresses and leaves! Like 4 girls and leaves!!! So the first day I had to leave with Dad. Not a pleasant experience! I love dad, but during high school I used to go to school stressed every morning! Why? Dad hates driving! He drives to go to work! And that's it! So me asking him to drive me to KAUH, not good! Anyhow, first day of OSCE -yes we had 2 days because paeds staff think differently!- I arrived at about 08:30. I went straight to the fourth floor and I cried! Apart from the fact that I didn't prepare at all for an OSCE exam, I cried because of the sheer terror of ruining everything and missing the OSCE itself! 

So why do we have two days? I still dunno I think that's a Zionist plan to break us LOL. Anyhow when were preparing for OSCE we had a session with one of the docs whom we never saw during the entire rotation. He said we'll either have a history station, examination, or counseling! I'm like shit!!!!!! When did we learn to counsel? I know it's not something to prepare for seriously but come on! 12 weeks we didn't counsel anyone about anything except asthmatics! Which is stupid because mostly they know exactly what to do. So I freaked out because honestly I hate counseling. It's stupid! And he said we should know how to counsel about three things, breast feeding, vaccination and we should learn how to break a bad news! DUUUUUUUUUUDE! Why do we have to learn how to break a bad news now? We're fifth year students. Thankfully we 3 stations history, and 3 stations exam. They went somewhat well, except a few embarrassing situations, they went fine. 

My only wish is that we pass this God damn paeds and never come back to it again! I love the subject as much as I love any other one, it's the unnecessary stress and the bitchy staff all over. Consultants are nice, some of them but residents, interns, and nurses are intolerable!! 

Ob/gyne starts on Saturday, let's hope mothers are nicer than kids!

First Day in KFAFH

This long post is written by Anamil and me. Bear with us. I know I haven't written anything in ages, but don't worry you didn't miss a lot!

I wake up every day at 6 a.m. well prepared for a new adventure, a new disappointment, a new reason to be depressed. This is pediatrics people, in case you’re not familiar with it. So regardless of my insomnia, and the fact that I slept at 2:36 a.m. last night, I tried to force myself to be optimistic today. Not sure what about, but hey! We’re going to king Fahad armed forces hospital! Dude the name is scary, let alone the fact that this is our first time there. Everyone kept telling us how lucky to be the group that’s going to take the ward rotation there, and we do appreciate that, but… first days suck, don’t they? I can’t say I’m happy about how it went this time!

So we went to KAUH like always, Lamis and Ghada went straight to KFAFH. We waited for the buses. And waited. And waited some more! Until it’s 11 a.m. So annoyed, Reham went to talk to the secretary. That asshole who kept faxing the buses supervisors but nothing happened! Everyone kept blaming the other. She –the secretary- said it’s no longer her responsibility that the bus didn’t show up, we can’t reach that asshole-of-a-bus-supervisor phone, and we’re left to our own destiny.

Now normally, we’d call it a day and go home. Turned out, we have a session at 1 p.m. in KFAFH. So we decided quite quickly –background music; it’s my life, it’s now or never- and took two taxis and went to KFAFH. Ok so we were 8 girls, divided by two taxis, that’s kinda za7ma if you’re considering some big asses among us i.e. me! So we all sat behind, Jameela planned to sit in the front seat but the guy freaked her out by telling her that she’s petite so she could jump from the back seat to the front. She decided it’s okay for her to sit on top of Abrar. Oh! The mixed feelings we had. I was so nervous beyond what words can describe. I’m not sure why, but I guess it’s a combination of experiencing a first day in something, plus the fact that I didn’t tell my family how things will go from now on, plus the fact that I keep fucking up in this rotation. It all swirled in my head. All these thoughts, and I was nauseous. How stupid I must have looked at the time!

We went there. Empty hospital! I’ve never been there and I must say it looked rather nice! Went to the cafeteria looking as hungry as we can be! And then my social phobia started to kick in! first, the cafeteria looked like some Hajj tent. No really! Second, it felt like a wedding with people humming and utensils (sound, anamil back me up here), so our social phobia doubled. Or at least Anamil’s and mine. We ate, that tiny little cafeteria is worse than cafeteria al gerayyat. Lana described it as some fancy restaurant, Humph.

Anyhow, after the cafeteria embarrassment, we went upstairs for the session. Ok, the fear I felt from the responsibility is worse than the fear of cockroaches. And if you know me you’d know I might die if I a saw one! The doctor kept telling us how everything is going to be and my heart rate kept increasing. Then she told us how to take a pediatric history. I answered two normal questions and she seemed impressed. I felt guilty for that! This woman is gonna be shocked soon! I may know where everything goes but eventually I know I’ll mess up my history.

Later, when we decided to leave –go to KAUH- we faced another problem. Should we go with a taxi, or should we go with Ghada? First plan was to go with Ghada. Except her driver went to KAUH!!!!!! And we waited. And then we decided that it’s too late to wait, so let’s have a walk outside under the lovely sun to look for a cab. AND FUCK THOSE ASSHOLES ALL. There’s not one decent dude, they’re either picking up patients, or waiting for visitors or whatever the hell is!

When it was too hot for us to continue our search, Jameela, or was it Anamil? Someone told us to go back up because Ghada’s driver is coming soon because he’s not picking up her sister whom he went to get in the first place. Yep! And I looked like a drug addict if you’d like to visualize the situation.

We waited again. Me feeling like shit, kept fighting with everyone, until the driver came. It was 3:55 when we took off. Me completely drained, when girls started to make jokes about what would it look like if I married Ibrahim! They’re having the time of their lives when I just wanted to shoot them all! I was still thinking about how am I gonna tell my parents that I’ll have to be at the hospital at 7:30.

Anyhow, I did tell dad. I was in the bus in front of the house when he was in the car. Once I got out I said hi and asked if he just came or about to leave because I have “something to say”. That sounded creepy even to me O_O. he asked what is it? He sounded freaked out too O_O. I told him about the issue. And I just realized that Emad is here! He plans to drop me at the hospital at 6:30 a.m.!!!!!!! yea like a fucking high school student! Never mind! It’s the company that I’m afraid of not the timing. And that’s it for today’s adventure. I do hope next days will be better!

ANAMIL

I started my day at 7:37 am. That’s right. SEVEN THIRTY SEVEN AM. First thoughts on waking? what the fuck?! There’s sun outside? How could that be?

 Some background information: I wake up every day at five am there is NEVER any sun. So I grab my phone and surprise surprise. On the first day of the rotation my piece of junk phone decides to stop working. I jump out of bed and literally get dressed in less than three minutes. I didn’t pee, didn’t wash my face, instead of brushing my teeth i chewed a piece of gum. I hightail it to the gate where of course I have to stand in a line to sign out, and low and behold some pig tries to cut in line. I turned my bitch on and gave her the stink eye, try it. Just try it. I will literally fuck you up. I think she was adequately freaked.

Anyway, I sign and am practically running all the way to the hospital. I get to the lobby and NO ONE IS THERE. That’s when I realized I had been left behind (insert sad music) feeling lonely forever I take my self to the cafeteria and that’s when I see the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Fadia-with-an-H standing at the end of the hallway. I meet up with her and jamela still freaking out and explain why I look so disgusting, that’s when I realize I still haven’t even prayed. jamela explains that the buses have yet to show so I’ve got sometime. The nearest bathroom is in the OR where you’ve got to put in a pass code to get in. As is usual with me, I can’t think when I’m freaking out so I stand there for a couple of minutes putting in the wrong code, before I realize I’m wasting more time and move onto the first floor bathroom. Done with the praying I come back downstairs and find out the buses STILL haven’t arrived. We are now officially late as it is eight am.

From eight till nine thirty we hang out in the lobby while poor reham accompanied by matara, awatef and dalal argue with the administration. Like talking to a wall. Abrar decided to make me feel better by taking me to the bathroom so that I can put some khol on and look more like my Indian ancestor than my Malaysian ones. It doesn’t really work though; I can’t stop freaking out about how late we are going to be. At nine thirty, tired of being the lobby-girls (as we like to refer to any girl who hangs out in the lobby in search of a husband) we decide to move our little congregation to the cafeteria, where we proceed to bitch and moan with some studying in between.

When at eleven lamis and ghada call to tell us about the one o’clock session, decisions were made. NOW IS THE TIME FOR ACTION MEN!! I take abrar with me and go to my locker so that I can get my abaya, on the way down we run into the monshake7, also known as fadia’s-hopefully-future-husband, we wave and he smiles and waves back and says hey, while we march past him as we always do –marching, never walking- and continue the march all the way out of the lobby and to the taxis waiting outside. Squeezing into a taxi, I time our trip, and it takes us exactly thirty-five minutes to get there. We hand over a thirty and squeeze back out of the cab.

The hospital is all right, can’t honestly say I was impressed as I have seen King Fahad Medical City and that place is the zenith of hospitals. There’s still time so we decide to get some food. After all the good things we had heard I have to admit the cafeteria was a joke. Set up was a joke. Food was a joke. Coffee was two jokes and a half. Also, I had a minor panic attack with fadia right next to me panicking as well. Moving on.

One o’clock, session starts. The doctor is extremely nice. I am extremely nervous. Palpitations, neck rigidity and tremors all get progressively worse with the realization that we’ve only got two weeks to get everything in pediatrics down or we’re fucked. So fucking fucked. It’s over. We thank the doctor and leave to look for a place to pray before heading to the medical education building so that we can get cleared by the administration to attend rounds. Surprise surprise, fat guy in a uniform with a horrible attitude tells us to come back tomorrow and has the audacity to look offended when I speak to reham in English. He demands to know what I said, I ignore him and leave. Reham is left to deal with the mess (all I wanted was a pamphlet).

How to get back to KAUH? Ghada tells us her driver is coming to pick her up. Thinking he’s close by I decide to wait. I have a curfew to make and had I known how retarded her driver was, I would have left in a cab with reham and awatef. So we wait, and we wait, and then we wait some more. He calls and says he’s arrived at fucking university hospital. Some yelling on ghada’s part, and a ton of swearing on ours. All right, plan b, get a cab! There are literally no cabs and the few we do find are waiting to pick up patients. Freaking out again. It’s now three twenty three pm and we have got to get back to KAUH before four thirty. Luckily, ghada’s brother decided to be decent and the driver is able to come get us in time with less of a load on him. We make it to the hospital. I spend the car ride tweeting lies to lamis about the nonexistent coffee shop at the hospital. Payback for her laid back mood while my blood pressure was skyrocketing all morning. At the hospital we stumble out of the car like drunken hobos. We feel like shit and we look it. Still some time for that afternoon cup of coffee though, so we take ourselves to the cafeteria where we grab some joe and I get pissed off at dalal for not getting me some water. Im just getting pissed off left and right. I finally get that water and calm down. God damn what day.

I’ve downloaded an alarm clock app on my ipad. I will wake up tomorrow at five. Go for a run, have breakfast actually pray on time and still get to the hospital early enough to catch a ride with jamela at seven. Life will be grand. Or I will blow it up with a bazooka.

I think I Finally Found My Love

I've never been one of those kids who figured out what they wanted since they were five. I actually thought that's a little bit stupid, and a lie. How can someone with the mind of a 5 years old figure out what they wanna be in life? 

Never mind. I'm sure if I did a study on people who worked what they thought about when they were kids below 18 years old are less than 20% of my sample :p. So to be honest, I've hated to be focusing on one field. How life would be immensely awesome if I could work a completely different profession every month *dreamy look*. 

Of course this is impossible. So when I reached high school, last two years, thinking so hard what would be the awesomest thing to study??? Not because I wanna help people -God I hate this annoying stupid answer so very much- and definitely not because I love medicine (internal medicine باطنة) and not surgery! I know what you're thinking of; "What the fuck is this girl doing here?" And the answer is, I chose medicine because I believed at that time that it's the only field where you get to learn so very many things. And hell yea I learned so many things, but I don't promise you that I still remember any.

Anyhow, so yea now that I established that I disliked (not real hatred) medicine and surgery, that are the sole purpose of the existence of med school and got you asking what I'm doing here, I think I ought to give a detailed answer. 

I never thought ahead for further than 2 years. I just can't. So when I graduated from high school, all I ever cared about is choosing something that I'll enjoy learning. Regardless of the job and other stuff. I was such a hopeless nerd you know :\. Three years passed and whenever I looked around I found people already deciding what they wanna choose for a career and I'm like shit, am I in the right place? How come I never felt close to something or loved something? Well I did loved nervous system module. But then later I decided it's a no no because it falls under either medicine or surgery. I'm a lazy-minded woman I just can't do any of those! 

And then the horrible thing happened after the third year and I began to question if those three years where a complete waste of time? During the fourth year I thought about forensics a lot, but I guess it did need a stone-hearted person. I was just hard-hearted at times. Not stone though :p. So the year passed, vacation passed, and we began family medicine. Needless to say, it was a 5 weeks long nightmare. And even if I had the least intention of ever choosing it (because of financial issues :p) it was gone before I know it due to the amazing professional attitude of the doctors *sarcasm*.

Anesthesia was the-most-amazing-course after the CNS module in third year. It's such a shame that an awesome course as anesthesia is only 2 weeks long :(. They were just SOOOOOOO organized! After the horror movie that is called family medicine I craved a huge dose of organization. Tiny little note about their organization, you know how I always comment about printed power points and viewed word files?? And how it makes me tick to see docs misusing them? Well the anesthesia docs happen to copy-paste the lecture in a word file so it would be easy on the eye when you study *faints* The funny thing, actually sad, even after what docs done and copy pasting, I found some girls printing the damned presentations and studying from them. When a girl asked them "why do you study from the ppt and not the word? They're both available" the girl answered that the ppt has more space and this gives the illusion of little to study. 

=______________= 

Needless to say that I wanted to stab that idiot! Really??? REALLY???? You've been permanently KAUized. The damage is done! 

So after two weeks of a sweet dream that's called anesthesia, we woke up to experience yet another lovely dream that is called psychiatry. And people, I fell in love. It's just amazing how mind works. How drugs work, how some elements have a huge role on the creation of the illness, it's just plain awesome! You know the medical student who've seen some rare case and instead of feeling sorry for the patient they involuntarily felt happy that they encountered such a case before they die? Well I feel the exact same. 

So many people say that psychiatry is horrible for millions of reasons. Some people say I'll end up being crazy if I ever chose it. I remember Mom reactions whenever I came up with a suggestion. 

"I wanna be a neurologist!! :D" 

"Are you actually gonna treat people or just diagnose them? What's the point?"

"I wanna be a forensic doctor :D. That's final :D"

"WHAT???? YOU WANNA HAVE GANGS AUCTIONING YOUR HEAD?"

"Okay Mom, last thing, and I won't change it, I wanna be a psychiatrist :D."

"And end up with the patients in the same ward?"

But STILL, this is the only thing I'm passionate about -and genetics, I just realized, but never thought of it as a profession!- for now. It feels so good to find your lost love :p. I feel home again! I dunno how but at least when someone asks me next time "What do you wanna be?" I'd have an answer to shove it up their noses.*

Oh and read this doc's posts on medscape. She also has her own blog. But read the medscape one. Good night.

Yusuf Estes

I never heard about this man before! I just got a mail from my brother giving me this video below and he's like "I thought it might be of your interest" and out of no where I was crying and obviously it was of my interest!!

It just amazes me -every time, as if it's the first time- when I hear about the story of how someone converted to Islam. This Sheikh and this guy here really really amazed me because how would think that the bible would be what lead you to Islam? It's not that complicated when they started talking about it, but it still is amazing how it worked out with them!!!

And when he said that after all this confusion, was this "Please God, if you exist, guide me." 

And it changed after that! It just changed. I find it most inspiring to Muslims and spiritual non-Muslims to watch videos like these, I'm not the best of Muslims... NOT AT ALL!! And I really needed a huge dose of Eman and I got it. Right before I sleep. And it would be most impolite not to share it with all of you. If you liked the video, share it, you might inspire someone (Muslim or not). 

Good night and enjoy.

Sedate and Relax

Oh anesthesia. Oh how I love you. You're such an interesting branch. Too scary but I still love you. I fear you!! I really do!! But that won't stop me from loving you.

This was supposed to be rhymed and sung but since I suck at both, well there you go.

Today was the first day in anesthesia. The first day after whole five weeks of stupid motivational pip talk that is called family medicine. I'm not sure how they got the title of medicine. They don't deserve it! Actually, in the first or second lecture we learned that it was called family practice and was changed to medicine later. Narcissistic assholes. Best thing is that the 5 weeks long nightmare is over now. I'm still scared. We we discussing few issues today and the module coordinator said that we sucked so bad and that every girl got a much higher grade than what she deserves and that we're the worst among all previous batches. Oh how I want to slap him! That liar. If there's anyone who deserve the title of queen of nerdness then this batch girls would win it effortlessly!! And there he goes saying we were the worst! Not just bad, but the worst!!! Narcissistic assholes! The whole department is made out of these people! *If I talked about my fantasy fights with them it'll take another long post*

I don't really have to tell you how my exams went. They both sucked. The OSCE and the written. The OSCE exam was made of 6 stations. The last of these stations was the log book validity. Basically the doc reads your log book, asks you questions, see if you're the one who took the case and managed it or whatever or not. They don't know obviously that I have a gold fish memory! I have amnesia and I don't remember anything at all! I didn't remember anything back then too! 

So I started with the diabetic patient counseling, or consultation. You know that the department suck big time when the rotation ends without poor student knowing the real difference between counseling and consultation. Best thing that the simulating patients (interns) were helping us A LOT. She asked me more than me talking to her which was really good. There was no awkward silence that is absolutely hated during these times. But have no fear darlings, all this absence of awkward silence was well-compensated for in the next stations. 

The second room I got into was about breaking bad news to a patient who is newly diagnosed with breast cancer. Dudes and dudettes, you have no idea how many times have we practiced this! Twice with the doctors on two separate occasions and once or twice alone. Yet, I had the worst mental block I could ever get!! No really! It was horrible. I never wanted to be swallowed and buried down like that day! You know after telling the diagnosis the doctor must pause to give the patient time to absorb the information. And as Jameela said; we paused, and paused, and then paused again. And I guess that I took only 90 seconds to deal with the thing. The rest of it was the most horrible awkward silence ever! I was even relieved when the bell rang. I mean screw this! It felt stupid and horrible! 

The third station was patient with backache, perform examination. I did what I know. Then the doc said there's something missing. We exchanged looks until the bell rang. I fucking hate these moments. Couldn't feel more horrible wallahi!

The fourth station was counseling or consultation to a HTN patient. I'm like bored and consumed and I no longer care what I look/sound like. Again there was awkward silence, it's then when the patient/intern started to ask questions (helping of course) and it went on smoothly. 

Then the fifth station. HEADACHE EXAMINATION! Now maybe I'm an idiot, but I'm not really well acquainted with headache examination! So I improvised. It can't get any worst after all, can it? It was messy, not organized, and I did what I thought it was good. And left! 

LAST STATION! log shit validity. It was Dr. Ekram. Oh dear lord how I freaked out! She asked me about the 2 months old vaccines, I answered enthusiastically because obviously this was the only info I was sure of! Then she asked what's the difference between IM polio and oral. I answered in the most casual way *I even shocked myself*  "don't know :\." Then it went on as a discussion more than a real test and she opened the log book, and picked the worst case, badly written one! And asked me about. I gave her the I'm-too-lazy-to-comprehend-what-you're-saying look. Then she asked "How much do you think you got?" 

"Out of kam?" 

"Out of 5 let's say."

"I dunno maybe 2?? :\"

"Okay ma3a alsalama :)... Oh one last question what are the ROM criteria (bell rings) for diagnosing IBS?"

*Sighing heavily*

"أنقزك الجرس!!!!" = "saved by the bell" 

And I gave her a weak yellow fake smile and dragged myself to the post exam room. 

And I cried. Honestly, it had nothing to do with grades as much as it had to do with the MAJOR EMBARRASSMENT!! But meeeeeeeeeeeh. It's all over now. Pray we pass! I'm that humble in my wishes :p o:).

As for anesthesia, though the title was meant to be for an anesthesia post, let's postpone that, shall we? Oh anesthesia is way too awesome to be talked about here with the family medicine post!!! It should be sung in a well composed song by Adele. Oh yes this is how much I love anesthesia. Even though I'll never ever be an anesthesiologist. Ever! EVER! But I love it. Very much <3

Have a good night sleep and salam :D.